Christmas is just around the corner, and alot of us are already thinking about what to get for your grandma, mom, friends, brother, great-three-times-removed-uncle Bruce...etc. and soon enough you find yourself stumbling across your kid cousin. Kid cousin, huh? There are a lot of great toys out there to choose from, but there are always some which are horrible ideas-even though they might not look like it. So to help you out a little, here are some toys that you should NOT get you kid cousin*.
Easy-Bake Ultimate Oven
No more light bulbs needed on this new Easy-Bake Oven! Oook...no light bulbs? So what the heck are you inferring here?- that this is another one of those plastic play-things that little girls can use to pretend to do "adult" things? Pathetic. When I was a little monster (still am) first learning how to cook, I'm pretty sure I started to use actual kitchen utensils; with adult supervision of course. Besides, with kids' cooking classes being so popular these days-which kid would wanna turn to "pretend" things? Answer: None.
Just stir water and one of the mix packets together in a bowl. This just sounds gross. What kind of food are they trying to teach the kids to make? Protein drinks? Mush feed for KFC chickens? Unless you wanna try out your cousins' baking with the help of this plastic oven, go buy them a Mrs. Fields gift card.
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Air Hogs Hawk Eye Radio
Just reading the product name gives me this uneasy feeling. A combination of two very unlikely animals, an eye and radio just doesn't convince me that the toy will be that great. Besides, the name make no sense at all- 'Hawk Eye' I get, but 'Air Hogs'...so are the pigs supposed to be as light as air? Back on topic; the helicopter apparently has a "eye" a.k.a. camera, that takes pictures and videos as it flies around the house. Already, I can see problems-BIG problems. Would you really like to have a gigantic fly following you 24/7 like the paparazzi scooping for Barney's body check? Didn't think so. Imagine your sense of privacy whenever you visit your cousin's house: Secretly picking your nose? *snap* Looking through the trash for your retainers? *snap* Falling asleep on the couch? *snap* Yep. And remember; with these snap shots and video clips, who knows what your cousin will do with them? So the next time you see your relatives giggling and elbowing each other when you walk in, you know what happened.
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Brain Quest
Checklist: Educational? Check. Gets you praises from the parents? Check. Fun? Mehhhh...somewhat. What can I say-if it's educational there's usually little "fun" in the game. Let's face it-this "game" looks more like a very thick handbook for school or something. In another words, it's best if it's used for classroom uses ONLY. Maybe you don't like your cousin all that much, but hey, if they're gonna play with this thing they're gonna play it with you the next time you come visit. This thing is like an encyclopedia of questions to annoy you with-you know those road trip questions like; "Why is the sky blue?" and "Why are the cows spotted when some aren't?" AND "How come I always feel hungry?". Yeah...you get the idea, but it doesn't stop there, with the answers printed beneath the questions, there will be a lot more blabbering going on NON-STOP. But look on the bright side-you won't ever need a radio again.
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I Am T-Pain Mic
This is quite simple; ask yourselves: Are you or your family or your cousin's family (especially the parents) very fond of T-Pain? Love listening to your cousin sing? Love being disturbed in your quiet reading time? If answered yes to the preceding questions-then go ahead and get your cousin this plastic 40 dollar mic. If not...DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. Have you seen the commercial? Well you should HERE. I was pretty horrified even when the mom starting using the mic-the kids in the commercial were probably just too stunned when they saw their own mom singing in auto tune with "T-Pain" style. Base line: If listening to your kid cousin sing isn't enough, then go ahead and get them the make-believe mic, to add a little "T-Pain" flair in their singing for the holidays.
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*Based on Candy's opinions...
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